


I See Those Charms But Do You Have Them?! NO!!

by TidbitKit



Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Onesided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 02:18:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11198385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TidbitKit/pseuds/TidbitKit
Summary: Fawful attempts to torment the prisoner (who he believes to be) Princess Peach.





	I See Those Charms But Do You Have Them?! NO!!

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in Superstar Saga! I don't remember what happens in this game so let's call this loosely canon-divergent.

\--

Capturing the princess was all too easy. Mario and the green one thought they were so strong and so cool, but the moment they went up against Fawful, they should have known they were doomed.

“Chortles!” Fawful exclaimed, laughing as he did so. “Many chortles! I have them!”

Cackletta, his wonderful and all-powerful mistress, had entrusted him with keeping watch over Peach. And of course, he was doing an excellent job. As though there was any doubt! No one was as good as Fawful at imprisoning the weak and powerless. No one!

It was simple to keep Peach in her cell. There was no way she could escape his incredible locking-of-doors. So when Fawful went down to the brig, it was not to check on her, it was to rub her defeat in her face.

“Hee hee geh heh hah!” Fawful scurried up to Peach’s cage, chortling louder at her startled jump at the sound of his voice. “Oh princess! Your comfort is well?”

The princess ‘hmph’d and turned away from him. She had been very quiet throughout this process. But it would not be long before Fawful had her crying pathetic tears of pain and sorrow.

“There is matter?” Fawful snickered and did his best impression of concern. “Is your cell too hard? Do you perhaps have shivers?” He couldn't hold back any longer and burst into cackles. “Too bad! Hahahaherf!”

The princess only straightened her back and turned further away.

Fawful’s enormous grin faltered. He hated to think it, but this was no fun. The best part of mocking someone was always their pitiful sobs of anguish!

He couldn't give up here. Fawful put his hands on the bars and leaned in, putting his immeasurable grin back into place.

“Princess, ignoring me, the stupendumous Fawful? I laugh!” And he did laugh. “Hilarity! Does the princess think her above me? I am above all!”

Princess Peach, her face covered by her fan, made a rude noise at him.

“Huh-guh-guh-HUH?!” Fawful’s face flushed red and he stomped his feet. “Insolence! Such insolence!” He shook the bars and grinned as maniacally as he could muster. “Your payment for this will be dreadful! Your voice will not be taken only! Geheheheh! _Your tongue also_!”

Peach’s hand flew to her mouth in what he knew to be horror, but she tried to pass it off as a bored yawn. Fawful, brilliant as he was, was not fooled.

“And then your tongue not only,” he went on, glad to be finally getting to her. “But your liver! Your spleen! Diced up to be fed to the monkeys!”

Peach glanced back at him, fan still held to her face. When she finally spoke, her voice was shaking and off from what he'd expected. “...m-monkeys?”

“Yessssss… rabid monkeys!” Fawful’s grin grew even wider. “With yellowish teeth!”

Peach gasped and recoiled. He did so love participation from his audience. He leaned in even closer. “And then do you know what else?”

Peach leaned in too. “W-what?”

Fawful wiggled his brow. “You really are wanting to know this?”

Peach inched closer still. “What? What?”

“Even worse still will be…. ah….” Fawful fumbled. “Will be……”

He knew what he wanted to say. It was right there on his tongue, threats about dropping her out of the sky into a field of piranha plants with her dress stuffed with steak. But with her sitting so close, looking at him with those big bright blue eyes, he found himself with a humiliating knot in his throat.

Unfortunately for him, the princess took that moment to jab him in the gut.

“EAUGH! COUGH! HACK! HACKING!” Fawful fell back and collapsed to the floor. He wasn't much used to pain and decided to make the biggest deal out of it that he could, writhing around in exaggerated pain. “MY STOMACH! MY INSIDES!”

While he rolled around on the ground, Peach moved her fan for a mere half of a second. He saw the flash of a tongue and a larger nose than he remembered, and what was that black thing underneath? But no, that must have all been illusion from his writhing around. 

“That's what you get! That's-uh-that's no way to treat a lady!” Peach huffed. “I'm a prisoner of war, aren't I? I have my rights!”

“Rights! RIGHTS you say!” Fawful cackled and leapt to his feet, pain suddenly all gone. “You have no rights except for one! The right to do the bidding of myself and my mistress!”

Peach stuck up her chin. Or at least it looked like she did from behind her fan, which was again firmly in place. “And who’s gonna make me?”

“I! I, Fawful, the evilest of wickedness!” Fawful scowled and grabbed onto the bars again. “And do not think you can stop me with tricks so little and so cowardly!”

Peach tilted her head and batted her eyes innocently. “What do you mean?”

“THIS! This I mean!” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “Not only a jab, but these eyes! And your voice, it is new! Do not fool with me!”

Peach stiffened. She tightened her grip on her fan, holding it closer to her face. “H...huh?” 

“Feh heh heh! You think you are getting me with such tricks!” Fawful flailed his finger around as though to amp up its accusation power. “You think that pretty eyeballs and a voice which is cute will get you out of my grasp! Rethink this thought, for it is wrong!”

Peach’s alarm settled into a confused and furrowed brow. She seemed about to say something, but stopped herself. Fawful laughed.

“Keh heh heh! So you see? You see it is useless?” Fawful stepped back from the bars and threw back his head for a triumphant laugh. “Kwah haha! Yes, you are bested! I have heard of your charms, but to think that you would attempt to use them on me, Fawful, pillar of fortitude!” He grinned at her, delighting in her apparent embarrassment. “An accent so cutesy, really? It is to laugh!”

“Uh…” Peach turned away from him, curling in on herself as though to shield herself from view. “Dang… You caught me…”

Fawful laughed. “Of course! Do not think to try again!” He activated his hover cap and began to fly back upstairs. “Princess, farewell… For this time! Keh heh heh heh HA!”

Fawful’s laughter echoed through the whole ship. There was nothing that could defeat his good mood after putting a prisoner in their place.

\--

Fawful’s good mood had been utterly defeated.

“My sorrys are plentiful, Cackletta,” he said, bowing his head over and over. “Immense! Absolute regret! Complete remorse!”

Cackletta’s rage was all the more visible in her current form, her spirit possessing the enormous and intimidating Bowser. “You spoke with him! I told you to watch the princess and you couldn't even tell it wasn't the princess?!”

“The wily ways were immeasurable, mistress! Incredible stealth!” He kept bowing his head even as he made excuses. “The lies! Many lies which were to fool me!”

Cackletta yelled and stomped her foot. “Whatever! Enough!” Turning away from him, Cackletta glared out a nearby window with clenched fists. “We must rethink our plans! This does delay us… but only delay!” She cackled, as she was apt to do. “We will recover the real princess soon enough!”

“Yes, it’s truthful, mistress!” Fawful laughed with her, dancing in wicked glee. “Mario and the cute one will not understand the thing which hits them!”

“Yes! And then--” Cackletta paused and looked at him. “What?”

Fawful’s dancing feet slowed. “What?”

“You said… nevermind.” Cackletta shook her head and threw back her head for another cackle. “Soon, the wish will be ours!”

The two cackled together, and Fawful, who knew exactly what he had said, quietly filed that thought away for something to pursue after the whole conquer the world thing was over.


End file.
